Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Freeze Now, Conceive Later!


    People say that life begins when one has kids.  Is this true?  Mothers and fathers out there, what do you think? 

    I believe nothing imagined ever matches an actual experience.   How am I supposed to know what it feels like to create something with another person, to have it grow inside me, and to be responsible for its life?  I won’t know unless I give birth.  I may never know.  

    I am pretty sure I do not want kids.  I think the reason I say “pretty sure” versus “sure” is because I still have more time…

    Women have until 34, 35, or late thirties.  I haven’t done the research, but whatever the magic number is, the message is the same- tick tock tick tock.   Men have until forever.  Their concerns are different, like “I don’t want to be a really old dad.”   Their concerns, while valid, are dare I say—not as much of a concern?  It’s harder to be a woman—in general.  

    I do like kids.  And the thought of pushing one out and seeing it’s little face is appealing.   But then I think of the big picture—no time, no sleep, less personal freedom, and financial stability.  Now I am back where I started.  The vision of a baby Elena is fleeting and I am once again pretty sure I don’t want kids. 

    I did my taxes yesterday.  I am getting $8 back.  The guy who did my taxes said, “Now let’s pretend there was a baby Elena in the picture and see how much you would get back.”   $5,000.   After hearing the story, my coworker said, “And you would probably spend $15,000 on the kid.”   The numbers just don’t add up.  

    What do I want?  A life partner?  Yes.   Travel the world?  Yes.   Sleep?  Yes.  A life commitment?  A life partner is enough.   Finances?  I have 2-4 years left in school, depending on whether I become a Registered Nurse or a Physical Therapist.    I have no money now.   

    I am, though, thinking about freezing an egg. 

   The idea came while having coffee with a male friend.  Him and I sparked a conversation with two men sitting next to us.  The three men unanimously agreed that I should freeze an egg.  They said, “You never know, you may get ovarian cancer one day and not even be able to have one.  Freeze now conceive later!” 

   Jerks!  But yeah, if anything, baby Elena may be thawed out one day.