Monday, October 8, 2012

My Bartender's Bible (Based on 5 things that Bug me as a Bartender)



    1)   Don’t come behind the bar…Ever!  As in never ever, ever.   Don’t even peer over with your head or half your body.   Stay on your side at all times!
    
    2)   If you don’t know what you want please give me something to start with- a type of liquor, or perhaps a preference in tart versus sweet.  If you mutter the words “ I just want a drink,” you will drink whatever I make you and never ever ever say, “But I don’t drink  [insert drink that I make you because you can’t decide for yourself]”  Come with a plan or take the one I give you. 
    
    3)   Never doubt me.  Don’t pipe in while I mix a margarita with “buts” or “ohs,” or “I’m used to’s,”  and then taste my final product and say, “It’s actually delicious.”  Of course it’s delicious.   I made it.  Drink more talk less. 
    
    4)   We’re closed means we’re closed.  No you are not the exception.  No I can’t do one more.   No!

         Especially, this one:
  
     5)   I do not have to explain myself to you.   We do not need to process the ‘why’ behind everything you can’t accept.  If I say we ran out of vodka, we ran out of vodka.  If happy hour is over, and you missed the $2 discount, it’s over.  If I say you’re cut off, you’re cut off.  It doesn’t matter why.  It’s happening.  Actually, it’s happened.  Get over it!  

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